I have been married for almost 26 years. Every year has not always been rainbows and roses, I am human and I have a temper. The man I married loves me, I love him. Recently we saw friends decide to go their separate ways, it was sad. It is not the first time that we have watched seemingly wonderful compatible people just decide they don't want to be together anymore. Marriage is hard sometimes, the things that were cute or mildly annoying in the beginning seem to become almost unbearable. I don't understand what happens when it all falls apart. I have had fights with my beloved, there have been times when I didn't love him, I didn't like him, but emotions lie! The next day when everything is calm I look at that man who is my everything and my best friend and just can't imagine life without him. He is my best friend, always has been. I love running errands if it means I get to spend time with him. I know that the world we live in is no Utopia, there is people who think nothing of flirting with a married person. They are very disturbed people in my opinion why would you want to be with someone who has so little regard for your bond to your spouse.
Sex is hard sometimes, you have children, jobs, errands, and stuff and sometimes health issues and sex feels like one more thing on your to do list that you have no interest in. My hubby and I have always been on two different time clocks. He is a morning lark, I am unbearable until my 1st cup of coffee. I come to life in the afternoon or evening when he is winding down and is tired. We have 2 biological children and a great sex life so obviously we make it work. So why am I writing all this down, I just want people to be real. When you are young and newlywed you are so in love that you think nothing will ever change and then it does. Life is a series of hills and valleys, it just is. When you are in a valley you can't see the top. You think you will always feel that way but you don't. You will always face challenges and you have to choose to stay and fight and work or leave. Let me say right here if he/she is abusive leave! That never ever gets better, it always gets worse. So you are going along and if your blessed children come along and life gets BUSY! You are always tired, or so it seems and we have been there too. We made a point to date. MANY times it was a movie and food in front of a t.v. We could not afford a sitter. It is so important. Those kids grow up and they leave and then what do you want to look at a person you have disconnected from while you were a parent and discover you have nothing in common anymore. Dating is important, sex is critical, when you are tired, when you don't feel like it. Men are sensitive like this they need to be touched, held, cuddled or whatever. Women think well "hell I have worked, nursed, I am tired, I don't feel attractive, I have a headache, and we'll get around to it later when life is less busy," it never happens. I have been there. I don't want someone else to see what I have and decide that since I don't want him/her they will. This is my advice, never take him/her for granted. You are together for a reason. We all get old, we all face challenges, nobody really wants to do life alone, it is no fun. If you are married and feeling that disconnect, if the grass looks greener over there, maybe you didn't do what you thought you would do with your life and you want it before life is over and you didn't. Look at that spouse of yours, go on a date, like you did in the beginning, talk. review your hopes and dreams for the future. You don't need Victoria and her secrets, you need a heart and some time. To my beloved you are just as sexy, just as fun, just as sweet and caring as you were all those years ago. I love you to the moon and back and then some.
